The Struggle is Real

I’ve been doing really good, but I’m struggling the last couple of days – more mentally than anything I think.

Tuesday I had fries and gravy and wings from Hooters. Then I had a Tutti Frutti in the evening.

Yesterday I was so hungry I had an extra piece of chicken at dinner, a bowl of popcorn, and 3 pieces of chocolate.

Today I’m going out for lunch to Earl’s (I’m planning on eating a salad but who knows, that could change). Tomorrow I’m going out with some work people.

“It’s just one day!” That’s what people keep telling me, but what if I say that every single day? I don’t, but what if it turns into that and before you know it I’ve gained back all my inches and pounds?

Ugh, the struggle is real and it’s so annoying. I don’t know why I get like this. I am trying to stay really positive but it’s tough. It’s also weighing on me that I haven’t really been doing much at the gym these days. I went on Saturday and did a really good work out. Sunday I did the treadmill at home, Monday I went to the gym only at lunch to do cardio (which is just walking). Tuesday, Thursday and Friday I woke up early and did 30 minutes before work, and Wednesday I did an arm workout after work. I’m always doing something, and trying to hit 10,000 steps at least a day which I have been, but it feels like not enough. So much of it is just walking.

I’m starting to get that mind set that if I just do a little more, or eat a little less my results will come quicker. I don’t know why I’m in a rush, there is no time line. I see some similarities with how I feel now to how I felt 5 or 6 years ago when I was obsessed and it scares me to my core. I finally like who I see in the mirror (or at least more so than I used to) and I’m terrified of that going away. I’ll keep working hard, and make the best choices I can but I’m scared.

I assume this is a normal feeling for anyone trying to lose weight for the millionth time, but I don’t want to feel this way. It starts to consume my thoughts, the guilt starts to kick in, and then I beat myself up. Then my mind really starts playing tricks on me, and I start thinking my pants are tighter than they were 2 weeks ago, and blah blah blah.

Maybe the struggle now will make the victory sweeter. Maybe. We’ll see

-K2.0

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Loving Yourself

I’ve had an incredibly eye opening experience this week, and I feel the need to share it.

For a good portion of my life, I have disliked who I am. Everything from thinking I’m too shy, battling my sexuality, disliking my body – the list goes on! I’ve spewed negative energy for years and years, never practicing self love or looking past my physical attributes. I have put far too much emphasis on things I can’t do instead of the things I can or have done. 2018 is the year of change for me though, and I feel like I’ve been doing an amazing job over the past month at changing this.

What’s crazy now is seeing people who are like Kaila1.0, while in the mindset of Kaila2.0.

My old self could listen to someone’s self hate and think nothing of it. But now it kills me to hear people speak so negatively about themselves! I cannot believe that I was like that. Don’t get me wrong, parts of me still are and it’s a struggle and a process that will likely last for years. Change doesn’t happen over night! The difference now is that I can pint point those negative thoughts and moments, and I choose to replace those negative comments with positive and encouraging ones.

This past week I have had a couple of close people in my life make comments about their body image and their lack of self love. Like I said, Kaila 1.0 would say “Oh my god, I hate the way my legs are too big too” or “Yeah, I can’t love myself when I look like this!”. Kaila 2.0 though, has a totally different mind set. It kills me inside to see people I love struggle no matter what the situation, but to see them putting such a high value on their physical looks makes it so much worse.

Why is it that as women, we put so much value into how we look? Don’t get me wrong, when I look good, I feel good and that’s okay! What’s not okay though, is to put ourselves down about our weight, and our body. We need to love ourselves for more than just how we look, and I think the majority of us could improve. So how do we do it?

I found this website that has 30 ways to practice self love, and every single one of them is a great piece of advice! I’ve actually used a good number of them, and it’s one of the reasons why I feel like the past month I have improved so much.

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/30-ways-practice-self-love-and-good-yourself.html

My favorites are below and have helped me every single day! 

  • Start each day by telling yourself something really positive (Number 1) My wife had made me put stickies on my mirror so I could read them every single morning. “You are beautiful” “I love myself” etc. Your mind is a complex and crazy thing, and for years I told myself I was worthless which eventually turned into me truly believing it. Tell yourself you are worthy, you are beautiful, you have a gorgeous body and I guarantee you, you will start to believe it.
  • Stop the comparisons (Number 6) We are all unique people with different personalities, body types, life goals, etc. What purpose is there to compare yourself to someone so different than you? You cannot compare apples to oranges because they are not the same so why try and do that to yourself? Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, and be better than that person. That’s it!
  • Realize that beauty cannot be defined. Even those models don’t look like that in real life (Number 11) Models are photo shopped. Every single one of them. Clothes are pinned and taped on them to make them look flawless but in real life, they don’t actually fit like that on people. Stop trying to be the models, because even they don’t look the way their photo’s do. Your body is yours, it’s unique, and it’s beautiful no matter the shape or size.
  • Be patient and persistent (Number 14) This doesn’t happen over night, it is a life long journey that you need to dedicate yourself to. You have spent years telling yourself negative things and now you believe them. It will take a long time to start to believe the positive things you’re going to start telling yourself too.
  • Forgive yourself (Number 20) Maybe you made bad life decisions. Maybe you binged on some junk food over the weekend. Maybe you had too many negative thoughts about yourself yesterday. Who cares? We cannot change the past. Life is now, and you need to make the best of your thoughts in this moment. So forgive yourself and move forward. Make up for it in this moment. Be better. Do better.

The point is, no one is perfect. There is no normal. Normal is just an illusion. An illusion that we’ve made up based on what media and society says we should be. We are all unique beings with our own faults and our own strengths. Own it. Be who you are, and don’t define yourself by how you look or a number on the scale. Our physical being is only a small part of who we are. Think of all the good things you do on a daily basis for people, and for the world. Be a better person, don’t try and be a better looking person. You are beautiful the way you are.

You are beautiful. You are strong. You are worth it. Go on … tell yourself!

-K2.0

so-much-more

 

The Numbers Are In…

AND I ROCKED IT!!!

Before I get into the final numbers during my 12 weeks with FCF, I need to make a few shout outs.

  1. Angela (She’s my wife!) When people say you need a support system and that it helps you to succeed, they are not kidding. Angela has been a much larger support than I ever could have imagined or wanted. She pushes me, and lets me vent. She’s my shoulder to cry on (literally) when I’m having a rough day, and my person to celebrate when I have a good one. There are a large list of reasons why I married her, but one of the top ones is that she’s my biggest cheerleader. I could never have done this (and continue doing this) without her.
  2. Mom (She’s my mom!) My mom did this 12 weeks with me. We did it together, and I feel like it was bonding time between us. We had ups and downs but there wasn’t one time that we were down and the other didn’t try and raise them up. Every time I had a bad weigh in, or I was struggling my mom was there for me (and I tried to do the same for her). She also got her final numbers today, and she KILLED IT! I told her that I’m proud of her, but the entire internet web needs to know that my mom is a rock star, and I couldn’t be any more proud of her than I am at this moment!
  3. Chad (He’s like my  brother! http://www.finecutfitness.com) Without his plan, there’s no way I would be where I am now. I cannot say enough good things about what he’s done for me. Every one of his clients succeeds – need I say more?
  4. Everyone else. My sisters, my friends, my family – the support is amazing. I love the encouragement, the tips, the suggestions, everything.

Seriously – without people and a support system this would have been so much harder. I keep talking like it’s in the past, but it’s all right now. We live in the now, and we move forward. So thanks to everyone for all you’ve done, and you do, and all you will do.

Now for the AMAZING RESULTS!!! We all know I lost almost 12 lbs throughout these 12 weeks, but the measurements are staggering as well!

My left arm was 12.3″ and my right arm was 11.6″. Today, both my arms are 12″ (at flex). I have lost fat in my arms, and dramatically gained muscle. Let me prove it, lets arm wrestle!

Both my legs were 24.5″ at the start. Today … both my legs are 22″! WHAAAAAT? I feel the muscle in my legs, and can visibly see less fat. Wowza.

My waist. My waist is where I wanted to lose the most weight, as I struggle with my belly for quite some time. When I started it was 39.4″. Today … 37!!

As for my body fat, the first calculation was wrong, but at week six my body fat percentage was at 33%, and today it was at 30%.

All in all, I killed it. I’m so proud of how far I have come in 12 weeks, and I am so incredibly excited to keep moving forward. I am on cloud nine.

GET MOVING!

-K2.0

P.S – I have attempted the 5km twice this past week, and nailed it both times. Both times were around 45 minutes, and the 2nd time I improved the amount of time I actually ran significantly. #rockingit

Program Complete!

I’M DONE!!!!

But not really.

This is a life long journey. I keep telling myself this and trying to really make it sink in. It’s slowly working.

Anyways, the program is done and the final weight is in.

November 1 – 187.2 lbs

February 1 – 175.8 lbs

That’s 11.4 lbs down in 12 weeks – almost a pound a week which is what I was aiming for. This has been a success, I would say! I take my measurements on Saturday which I’m excited about. I took pictures and compared them to my originals. I don’t want to be a pessimist but I don’t notice too much of a change (my wife and sister do though!). I physically notice a difference in my strength and how my clothes fit, but in the photo’s not so much. I feel a little disappointed however I know I’m my worst enemy and the fact that my wife and sister see the changes is awesome. I feel really good with the progress I made over the last 12 weeks in the gym and despite what the scale, measurements or photo’s show, I know that I have gotten so much stronger not only physically but mentally too.

I have learned so much about myself and food and working out over the last 12 weeks.

  • Be patient. Nothing happens over night, and you need to work hard for what you want.
  • Remove expectations. Expectations turn to disappointment. Have goals, but not expectations
  • One bad meal isn’t going to ruin everything. Just like one good meal isn’t going to change everything.
  • It’s okay to have bad days. As long as you get back up and keep moving forward.
  • Stop weighing yourself! Your number is a poor way to measure your progress so why bother?
  • Weight fluctuates. It fluctuates based on so many factors that it’s silly to get caught up and upset about it!
  • Ignore all opinions and views in the media about “diets”. You’re not on a diet. You’re becoming healthy. Cut out processed foods, and add whole foods. Start there and you’re golden!

So now that this goal is complete, it’s on wards and upwards! I have a new goal, that I am jumping into head first. 5KM RUN!!!!!

Lace Up for Diabetes – April 29, 2018. I am going to commit to a 5km run. It scares me, because I have never ran even close to 5km before but I feel very confident that I can do it. So instead of waiting to see if my training goes okay and I get close to 5km, I am going to just register and do the best I can to train and finish strong. It makes me so excited!

I ran at the gym yesterday. I went 3.68 km in 35 minutes which was made up of alternating running and walking. That is up from when I first logged my distance a month ago so I’m improving. And when I run, I don’t feel like my lungs are going to collapse or my legs are going to give out so that’s a step in the right direction too. LITTLE WINS, remember?

I feel so amazing about life these days. I feel like I have everything I’ve ever wanted and what was lacking for so many years was my self confidence. I’m slowly getting that and it makes me feel on top of the world. I’ve proven to myself over the last 12 weeks that if I truly put my mind to something, I can achieve it. I’ve never committed to something and followed through all the way so the fact that I completed this with amazing results is so uplifting. I truly feel like I can accomplish anything right now, and I have never felt that way in my life. Ever.

I don’t know if anyone even reads these blogs, but if there is someone who reads it who feels like they’re in over their head, and that you can’t get up when you fall down – you can. I did. Just tell yourself you can and you will start to believe it, I promise you. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and you will get places. Don’t want to go to the gym? Just go. I promise you will feel like a different person when you walk out than when you walked in.

The most important thing that I’ve truly learned from this experience (but will likely still struggle with) is that this is not a diet. This was not a 12 week program that will get me to my ideal weight. This was me learning about how to eat and move my body in a way that is going to make me healthier, and this is going to continue for years and years to come. I feel confident. I feel inspired. I feel like if you give yourself a shot like I did for myself, you too will feel all these amazing things! Trust me, it’s worth it.

-K2.0

success-isnt-just-about-accomplishment-zero-dean

 

 

 

Knowledge Is Power

Knowledge is power.

I have heard this phrase a million times in my 30 years, but not until recently did it really resonate with me. Over the past couple of months I have been working my hardest to eat healthy and work out, and it’s been a roller coaster to say the least. What has worried me the most out of the entire 3 months though, is what happens afterwards. I was given a work out and told what machines to use, in what order, how many reps, and how many sets. I was given a meal plan where it told me exact measurements on what to eat, and at what time. Granted, I strayed from it a little (the odd drink never hurt anyone, okay!).

What happens come Thursday though? I guess I could continue to follow it to a tea. I suppose that’s what it is there for. But to me I feel like there is more. I feel like I need to understand why I need to load up on protein, and cut my carbs a little to burn fat. I need to know why I do certain work outs instead of others. The more I know, the more I can grow.

I’ve likely mentioned it before, but I tend to want to eliminate myself from any blame or victory. If I do a work out regime and it doesn’t work, I blame whoever gave it to me/made it. If it does work, I tend to pass it off like it was a fluke.

I think it’s time I need to own up to my wins and losses. I decide what I put in my body (hold the dirty comments, would you?), and how I move my body and ultimately that will decide my fate. The more I know, the better choices I can make, and the better person I can become both inside and out.

It is hard however, to educate yourself on nutrition and fitness. There are so many contradicting articles and books out there – is fat the killer, or is carbs? Is animal protein bad for you, or should you load up on meat as much as you can? I think that different things work for different people, and there is no “one size fits all” lifestyle. I do think that we need to load our bodies with fruits and veggies, no doubt about that! And we need to get moving! But as far as fat vs protein vs carbs and what portions to eat and when – it’s all what works for you, and that’s what I’ve learned the past few months!

8+ years later, I’m still trying to determine what exactly works for me, and I think that’s okay. I think that even if something works for you right now, in 5 years things change and they may not. But that’s what makes things interesting (and frustrating). Think of it as a challenge; a puzzle that you need to piece together. When it all fits together just right, is when you feel like a million bucks – happy, healthy and ready to conquer the world!

I think I’ve ended up rambling about a few different things here, but the point I’m trying to get across today is KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. Educate yourself. Research. Make an educated decision about what put in your body, and how you move your body. Make adjustments if those decisions are not working. And most importantly, remind yourself there is no deadline. There is no magic number. There is no quick fix. Getting healthy and fit is a life long journey and once you learn to accept that, it makes it so much easier to keep moving forward!

-K2.0

Ps – I couldn’t make it to the gym tonight, so I did an at home 21 Day Fix work out – NAILED IT!!

Weight Loss Update

Holy Shit!

I managed to convince my wife to let my weigh in this morning. How I managed that I don’t know. I told myself that no matter what the number I was gonna be okay. If I gained, it’s just a number. Lost? Still just a number.

On to the scale I stepped. Whoa. Wait….no, that can’t be right.

One more time, just to make sure.

Yup. Same number.

175!!!!!

It’s just a number. I need to keep telling myself that it’s just a number. But damn does that ever feel good. I have worked so god damn hard and it feels so damn good to see it paying off. I feel on top of the world.

And also terrified. My excitement put tears in my eyes. But it’s just a number and no matter up or down I need to remind myself of that and that the only thing that truly matters is healthy eating, working out, and being a better me.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when you feel like you’re not going anywhere. Just keep trying.

K2.0

(Seriously though, I’m so fucking excited. 12 lbs!!!!!)

My Big Fat Weight Loss Journey

I follow a blogger named Katie Foster aka RUNS FOR COOKIES (www.runsforcookies.com). Her blogs are super inspiring and while it’s hard to read about anyone’s challenges and struggles, it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone. We are not alone.

Her latest post is a snap shot at her struggles from 2009 until now and it’s crazy to see all her ups and downs in terms of her weight and what factors contributed to her losing and gaining weight. It got me thinking about all of mine and so in pure Kaila fashion, I have a graph!

Screenshot_20180125-143300_resized

Whoa. Talk about ups and downs (let’s be honest, it’s mostly ups). I’m not really at a point where I’m comfortable enough with my weight to post about the actual numbers, but sometimes we need to go out of our comfort zone in order to grow as a person. And as I’ve said (and tried to believe) weight is a number, so fuck it! (Insert nervous dry heave here)

When I first met Angela I was on a health kick and within the first year of being together I was at my all time low weight – 138 lbs! From then (likely 2011) to January of 2013, I gained 25 lbs – I logged my weight at 163. (Everyone says it’s normal to gain weight when you get into a relationship with someone, so that was my excuse)

January 2013 – April 2013 I lost 17lbs – 146 baby! I was going to the gym, and counting calories. This was the point where I was obsessive. The point where I basically logged the 5 calories of my gum in My Fitness Pal. According to the scale, I felt great but mentally and emotionally, I was a wreck.

By September 2013 I was up 10 lbs – 156. I logged my weight until January 2014 and lost only 2 lbs.

The next time I logged was June 2014 and i was at 162. At this point I hard worked hard for a year and a half and I was right back where I started! SO FRUSTRATING!!

I logged my weight off and on from June 2014 to November 2015 and every time was a couple pounds more -165, 167, 169. I can see vividly where my obsession with the number comes from. People say a couple pounds is no big deal, and they’re right if it’s a couple pounds and stays that way. But for me it was a couple pounds every month and before I knew it,  I was 3 lbs  heavier than what I started at in November of 2015.

Again, from Jan/13 to Nov/15 I only gained 3 lbs net but the struggle throughout those 3 years was so painful to go through.

Christmas of 2016 I thought would be a game changer for me! I got a Fitbit from my wonderful wife and started logging and working at it again. I weighed in December 26th at the highest weight I had ever been – it was heart breaking. 183. From my lowest to highest in 6 years I had gained a whopping 45 lbs.

I worked hard in 2017 to get my steps logged and hopefully drop some weight but again, the number just kept climbing higher and higher. November 1 came and I was up 5 more lbs to the highest weight I have ever been – 187. My heart stopped.

187 lbs. You know, if you try and find your BMI online and put in 187 lbs, 30 years old, female, 5’7″ it tells you I’m over weight. As a matter of fact, at 187 at 5’7″ it tells me I’m almost obese. And here is part of the problem! If you see me, you may think I need to lose a some weight, but I don’t think (and maybe I’m oblivious) that anyone in their right mind would ever say I was obese. It’s so frustrating! And this is one of the reasons why I try so hard to not measure anything anymore (that struggle continues).

So after weighing in and seeing my weight only 13 lbs from the terrifying 200’s, I had to do something. That’s when I started up with Fine Cut Fitness. Today marks week 11 and I’m not sure how much weight I have lost. Last time I weighed in I was at 180 but my wife hid the scale so I’m not sure what I’m at now. I would love to say that I don’t care and it’s just a number but the truth is I still wonder. I feel good knowing I’m eating healthier, and working out but a huge part of me still wants that reassurance on the scale.

It’s a long process and I’m not a patient woman. I struggle on the daily to see more results and when I don’t I get frustrated. But we all need to remember that this is not a sprint, this is a marathon. This is a life long journey and these ups and downs are what makes life. If it was easy, everyone would do it right?

It feels good to see my rises and falls, and vent them out to the world. Writing is such a cool experience and while it terrifies me that the world sees this, what terrifies me more is keeping it inside and it eating away at me. For years my low self confidence, body image issues, and weight issues have eaten away at my insides and at times I thought they would take me over.

But here I am, telling the world (or maybe just the 5 people who actually read this thing) that I’m trying. I’m going out of my comfort zone, being vulnerable, and trying to be a better me.

If being a better me means that I go to the gym 5 times a week, eat healthier foods, try to make the world a better place, and still weigh 187 lbs, then so be it.

-K2.0

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Why We Need To Lower Our Expectations

ex·pec·ta·tion
ˌekspekˈtāSH(ə)n/
noun
noun: expectation; plural noun: expectations
  1. a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

Expectations are the reason for failure!

What would happen if you expected to win the Lotto Max on Friday? As in you actually, with every fiber of your being for whatever reason thought that in 4 days from today you would be a multi millionaire, and your entire life was going to change. Friday comes and goes and they announce the numbers and holy shit … you don’t win. As a matter of fact, you didn’t even get one number to match! You would be devastated. You had this expectation that was based on who knows what, and now you are crushed. You have to go back to working your shitty 9-5 job, working to pay bills, barely getting by.

Alternatively, you could go out on a whim and buy that Lotto Max ticket today, tuck it away in your wallet for a month and randomly find it one day. You get it checked and low and behold … nope, didn’t win. Not a single number matches! No big deal, you throw the ticket away and life doesn’t change.

The point I am trying to make here is that your expectations set yourself up for failure and disappointment. Don’t get this confused with having hopes, dreams, aspirations and goals. You can have all those, but don’t set expectations that are associated to all those goals.

  • Goal – Work out, eat nutritious food, lose weight
  • Expectation – Lose 15 lbs in 5 weeks and run a half marathon after 3 months of training

Not only is the above an expectation, but it’s an unrealistic one. But we still tend to come up with those in our minds, and obsess over them, and attempt to work towards them. We should be working towards our goals, but as far as expectations are concerned – DROP THEM! Get rid of them!

The key to happiness as they say, is lower expectations! You can’t be disappointed if you didn’t expect something in the first place.

So for me going forward, I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing (going to the gym, walking more, eating healthier whole foods, trying to maintain a positive attitude, etc),  but I am not going to expect anything. I’m not expecting to lose weight, and if it happens – GREAT! I’m not expecting to have to buy new clothes, but if I do – AWESOME (or maybe not awesome for my bank account. Sorry Angela!).

“Happiness depends not on how well things are going but whether things are going better or worse than expected.”

-K2.0

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Attitude of Gratitude

What are you grateful for today? I’m going to say that most people would struggle to come up with 5 things. Healthy, Happy, Family, Job, Home. Those are what I would guess are the top 5 things people say they’re grateful for, and that’s great! But what about the bazillion other things in your life?

The more I read inspiring books this year, the more I realize how much I have to be grateful for. I’ve started noticing them, and really thinking about them. The positive thoughts I have about these things turn into a snow ball affect and I just end up feeling so happy for the entire day! I used to really struggle with the glass being half empty vs half full but in the last 2 1/2 weeks, I think I’m really starting to get into the swing of looking at situations in a positive light.

Before I could even do that I had to identify the situations that I had negative thoughts and that took a while. Sometimes you don’t even notice it, you need someone to point it out for you and that’s okay! Eventually you’ll start to pick up on it yourself, which is the point I’m at. When I change my negative thoughts to positive, I feel like a new woman!

It’s been scientifically proven that when you think about something that makes you happy, your brain actually releases endorphins which give you a feeling of well being. How insane is that? Happy people find good in situations, they find good in the crazy world that we live in!

I read this article today and I’d like you to read it too. Make a point today to be more positive, and see where it takes you!

https://www.briantracy.com/blog/personal-success/positive-attitude-happy-people-positive-thinking/

Here is a short list of what I’m grateful for.

  • I woke up this morning (which obviously beats the alternative)
  • I have a beautiful wife who loves me and shows me every day
  • I have a dog that has shown me that I can love an animal as much as a human
  • I woke up in a bed, in a house. Our house. I can afford to have a house!
  • I was able to work out this morning on a treadmill that my wife and I have been able to afford
  • I had a hot shower
  • I clothed myself and had a difficult time trying to pick from the tons of clothing that I have what I was going to wear today
  • I went to a Physio appointment and didn’t have to pay anything because we live in a great place called CANADA where you don’t have to pay every time you see a doctor
  • I drove to work in my very own vehicle, that I’ve been able to afford
  • I went to work – I have a job!
  • I’m about to eat lunch – my job allows me to buy food. Good food. Good food that my wife cooks for me because she’s a wicked cook!
  • I have a family that loves me and cares about me just as much as I care about them and supports me in every single thing that I do
  • I have in laws that I could not have hand picked any better
  • We’re traveling 2 times this year with our families to hot destinations
  • I am healthy! I woke up and all the organs in my body are doing their jobs simultaneously. That is a miracle in itself.

Geez, I could honestly keep going and going and going.

Some of these things seem small, but when you really think about all the things you have in your life, it’s easy to come up with a list pages and pages long. And when you realize all the things you are grateful for, you can’t help but be positive and happy. And when you’re positive and happy, your life will get better. Way better.

Mine has.

-K2.0

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Throw Your Scale Away!!!

The thought of throwing out my scale, or not being able to my weigh myself actually makes me panic. I have become so dependent on an object telling me if I’m doing good or bad at losing weight. Do you know how many times I’ve been told to stop weighing myself, or to just throw the damn scale away? Tons. More times than I can count.

I am inherently a measure-er (is that a word?). I need to measure things to make sure I’m doing things correctly and see how successful I am. It relates to more than just my health – it’s in the kitchen, at work, at home, everywhere!

If I’m cooking something, you better believe I’m using measuring spoons, because if I just wing it, it may not turn out! At work, I document everything – the more I document, the more I can measure my successes. At home I document things from what books I’ve read, to what I spend my money on – the list goes on and on. And while some people think this is a good quality (and in many cases it is) when it comes to my health, it’s become an obsession. It’s become how I determine if I’m going in the right direction or not, if I’m successful or not, and it affects my mood more than I’d like to admit.

Numbers and words mean something to me, and sometimes I need to forget about the damn numbers and words and go off of feelings. How you feel is the best measurement of all (or so they say). I’ve been trying to tell myself and believe this for years, but I do believe the time it will actually work is now!

Let’s go back a couple days. My wife told me about this book on Friday called “Throw Your Scale Away”. Based off the title I knew I had to have it. So on Saturday, out we went  out in the horrible freezing Winnipeg cold to get this book and I am so glad we did! I finished it yesterday. While I didn’t enjoy the entire thing (some of it just didn’t pertain to me, or strike a chord with me), the first couple chapters made the purchase completely worth it and I got some great information out of it. 5 Reasons why you shouldn’t weigh yourself!

  • Body Composition – you could be 200 pounds of muscle, or 200 pounds of fat.
  • Effect of Exercise – again, you could work your butt off and be gaining muscle, and losing fat but your number is going to go up as muscle weighs more.
  • Recommended Guidelines – Even if a doctor or someone advises you to lose weight and track it, weighing yourself every day (like I tend to do) isn’t going to help. Weighing yourself once every couple months is more than enough.
  • Daily Fluctuations – if you just took a poop you probably weigh less than you did before you took a poop. What you eat, drink and do during the day affects your weight. If you’re dehydrated, you’ll weigh less, etc.
  • Mood – If you are anything at all like me, the number on the scale defines how my day is going to go. If my weight goes up for any reason, I am devastated. Even if it goes down, I am sometimes really frustrated that I put in all that hard work the day before and nothing really changed. Yes…the day before. In my head, weight changes should be immediate.

I knew this all, but it never truly sunk in. I can’t tell you why, but sometimes if you just hear it from a different source, it makes a world of difference, like this book did for me.

I weighed myself this morning after just doing it on Saturday, and I told myself that whatever the number, it wasn’t going to affect my mood. Well guess what? It did.

The damn number didn’t change a bit, and since November 1 I’m still only down 7 lbs. So guess what? #1 I’m going to be proud of those 7 damn pounds because I’ve worked hard to get rid of those nasty little buggers. And #2 – I’m throwing my scale away. I’m sick and tired of defining myself as a number, and either being in a good or bad mood because of it. I feel great, because I have been eating whole healthy foods, and working out as much as I can fit into my schedule.

From here on out I’m going to judge my progress to a healthier me based on how I feel. I think you should too. Don’t think about it, just throw it away. Buh Bye!

We can even say a few words about our friend Mr. Scale if you want, before you chuck him in the garbage, along with all your negative thoughts.

Thank you Scale for all you’ve done for me. You’ve been with me for a long journey, and I thank you for sharing in the good and mostly bad times. I’ve outgrown you though, and while a part of me is going to miss you, I know I’ll be better off without you. It’s not you, it’s me. For real. It’s me and my mentality that has strung you along this long, but we’re over. You need to walk away, and never look back. See you never.

Please, follow me on this journey and throw your damn scale away. And if you can’t actually throw it away because you spent lots of money on the darn thing (like I did), then get your spouse to hid it and never tell you where it is (Angela, please do a better job this time. Not that you didn’t before, but I did find it while grabbing our grill. So maybe hide it somewhere else, like behind the washer, or in a bin that we never open. Maybe not those places actually, ’cause I just suggested them and clearly they are somewhere I would look in a moment of weakness). Or send it to a friends place and tell them never to let you use it.

Let’s get healthy together, and judge our process based on how we FEEL! Ready? No? Too bad! THROW IT AWAY!!

-K2.0

Ps – On Saturday I had a couple drinks with family along with some munchies. For the first time in my life I made a conscious effort to listen to my body. I stopped drinking/eating when I was full, and once that feeling went away, I allowed myself to have some more. I felt incredible that evening – so proud of myself!

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